Monday, February 16, 2009

The Terrible Fours??

Oh my....what to do with a daughter who hits? We have been battling this for a short while and I am at my wits end with it. She is so quick to anger...when something does not go her way. We talk calmly with her, we do time outs. We do not spank. Looking into some behavioral therapy for her before she heads to this necessary? I don't know. I do know that I do not want things to get worse. I was wondering if it was a situation that she was unable to control...too impulsive. But, she does not hit at school or in other situations...just us.
It does not help that she comes from two parents who like to have control. How much do we let up? Where does the line fall between giving in because it is not really a big deal and sticking to your guns so she does not have the sense that, "Hey, I "got away with it last time", let's try it again.



lori said...

lord how i wish i had an answer for you! I just said to a friend today that the 4's are killing me!
very slowly!

lori said...

i will say this though...his is just meltdowns...thankfully not hitting, but we did go through a stint of physical-ness at school, but we quickly tamed it...hang in there!

Sturgmom said...

Visiting from SITS! {{WAVES}}

Parenting IS hard. But my advice is DON'T let it slide. She has to know there are consequences EVERY.TIME.

Good luck! And hang in there!

Anonymous said...

Yes, honey...parenting is so hard. I have a four year old too and our problem is not hitting, but mouthing off. I also struggle with the question of how hard to come down on her. Should I take the hard line and enforce strict consequences each time? What I've decided in the short term is to keep telling myself that this is the age when she is LEARNING what behavior is acceptable. She is not supposed to already KNOW what behavior is acceptable. If I keep modeling good behavior, keep instructing her in good behavior and correct her when she does wrong (with or without consequences), then maybe by the time she is 10, she'll have it. :)
Not sure how that's going to work out for me or how long I'll take this approach. But isn't that what parenting is all about....a major gamble?
BTW, welcome to SITS!
PS For an example of the mouthing off, check out two of my blog posts: Cranky and Can you take it.

Brenda Jean said...

It's so hard to know what to do. My kids are 8, 14 and 15 now, so I've been through those years three times:) Each kid was different. I think just being consistent, never laughing at them when they do it and telling them it's wrong etc. It sounds like you are already doing this stuff. Things do pay off- it just doesn't seem like it now:)